The Aberrant Me

The wisdom of God, now attends my days.  If someone must place a percentage, I confess that the Lord Jesus rules, well over, 90% of my thoughts.  Personally I think that is a conservative percentage.  But the opinion of man cannot be trusted.

He has done all this!  The entirety of the gospel belongs to him.  And from the message of the gospel the ascension from sin has become.

I am not saying I am sinless.  Rather I am saying there is placed a brutal guard over all my thoughts and actions.  And if one escapes, he is captured and brought back for examination.  Execution belongs to the culprit.

Yet more credit belongs to the power of God to transform.  For God instructs, moment by moment, according to His perfect righteous ways.  According to my willing ability to obey.

These things are marvelous, and a very welcome life!  But something “other”, even more amazing, comes to visit from time to time.  And this “other”, is the provocation for this writing.

I am often reminded, by some familiarity, of the man I used to be.  And with stunning clarity,, and regularity, I find no righteousness in my past.  The word “no” has a definitive meaning.

Let any memory come to mind, and my response is shocking revulsion.  At first I am shocked that I would do such things for such reasons.  And then quickly comes the shocking revelation that I am not dead.

We have all heard it said, in one fashion or another, “If it were not for Christ Jesus I would have no life at all”.

If confession were made, most Christians would confess, their nod is without full understanding.  By what they know of Christianity, that saying must be true.  Though they embrace it, spiritual fruit in their life displays their lack.

In this the saying of the Lord is true, he who is forgiven much loves much.  Conversely, he who finds little need for forgiveness, is likely to rely on his own ability.  This one’s love is likely to be split between the Sovereign God and himself.

I do not mean to say this with judgment.  It is simply a fact of life.

But the longer and farther I walk with Jesus, the more alien and repulsive my past becomes.  It can be likened to a virus, which has attached itself to every memory; this lack which provokes amazement.

I pray this has some value to my brothers and sisters, and to those who desire to become Christians.  May every child of God come to abhor who he was.

It occurs to me, that there may be an oddball or two out there like me.  A few who actually desire this place the Lord has brought me to stand.

How can such a one hope to arrive?  The answer is rather simple.  However the journey is anything but.

Give yourself permission to examine every action and every motive you have ever had.  Hold it up as one would a transparency into the light.  Examine it before the righteousness of God.  The comparison will be stunning.

Such a life is not for the faint of heart.  But wasn’t it said, “From the days of John the Baptist until now, the Kingdom of Heaven is forcefully advancing and forceful men lay hold of it”?

By His Grace


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