Serve Self?

Let common sense rule.

Every servant serves a master. He who serves himself is no servant at all. Doesn’t he make himself his own domain; King and the subjects over which he rules. Can anyone say “folly”? And no servant is allowed to serve two masters, such a man will not serve either one with integrity.

We are servants to the one we obey. Fidelity is the target. Either a man serves chaos or seeks, with all he has, to serve purity.

The Great Apathy

Reflecting on the Great Flood, Charles Spurgeon says this:

“How marvellous the general apathy! They were all eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, till the awful morning dawned.”

Of any moment, place or identity of Man is just this way. What meager number of this day will refuse to be one of the apathetic? God will know who they are. We all either know or can guess the rest of the story.

The Chicken 

Chickens are rather brainless. They’re scared of everything and hold nothing as more important than their belly. They’re not at all inquisitive, and they’re perfectly fine with that. They hate water unless they’re thirsty. They would rather bathe in dirt. The best they ever hope for is to find a hole in the fence; mindless of the fox.  

Take a good long look at their usefulness. From a selfish and fruitless life to the frying pan.  

You can’t possibly think I’m talking about 🐔.  

Legislative Freedom

The freedom of a child turns first to love.  Innocence demands inclusion for all.  In a child’s heart, there is no separation between us but the surface of our skin.  The child’s heart does not see colors of skin or deviant actions (The blackening of Souls).  The child’s heart does not understand violence born of selfish greed.  And the child’s heart is innocent before God.

But soon comes rules and regulation.  “You shall do this, you should not do that.”  The lack of self discipline demands law.  Innocence, or ignorance, is not a license for deviant behavior.  The love of a child quickly turns to obedience in lieu of punitive action.  And isn’t it tragically necessary.

As it is with the little child, so it is for every man.  Law stands as a wall around everyone.  Law is for the deviant.  Freedom is for those who love.

I spent the night in Sault Saint Marie, Michigan.  I learned about the Chippewa who held this land before the Whites came.  I was curious about the state of the Chippewa Nation in today’s economy.  So I looked up their law.  I was surprised to find a lengthy and comprehensive code of law.  For whatever reason, I did not expect to find the law of the Greeks.  I think I expected to find something more akin to the law of natural order.

But my heart is bruised to find such a free people compelled to recognize the laws of the Greeks.

Gone is innocence.  Hello, the literary form of love. 

“You will do this and you will not do that.  You will accept mechanization and technological order.  You will live in houses.  You will drive cars.  You are compelled to receive the education of the Greeks for your children.  You are compelled to bury your people according to the ordinance of the Modern Age. You are no longer a Free People.”

Yes my heart is bruised for the sake of their loss.  It is the same bruising that comes when I look at the transformation of love to a written code. 

Codes of law are for the deviant.  They are not for those who love without restraint.  Beyond the loss of their Natural Freedom,  they have become like the rest of the world; permanently labeled deviant.  And this by a forceful compulsion beyond the dreams of their ancestors who lived long before the law of the Greeks appeared among them.

There is so much to write about this.  So many understandings flood my mind.  From the fact that law is given to man by the wisdom of God, through the indelible stamp of “Guilty” that lays upon all men, and into the regulation of God to restrain the greed that is the nature of man.

The bruise in my heart is to see the loss of freedom.  Perhaps the bruise in my heart is a longing for the place of promise while I live in this place of disrepair.  Perhaps the bruise in my heart is the same engine the prompts fairy tales for children.  Those beautiful stories that remind the child, “Love is still real”.

Love does not need law.  But if you want to see how deviant man has become, look up the code of law for the Greeks.  Visit a library for lawyers.  Every possible infraction against society, and even ourselves, has been written down with its appropriate boundaries and punishments. 

What then shall we say about those who call themselves “The Free World”?  The love of God in Christ is the only freedom that has no boundaries.  The love of God in Christ is the only freedom against which there is no law.  The love of God in Christ is the Light that shows me the bruise on my heart.  It is, indeed, a longing for a land from which I did not come.

If you want to see what shook my soul to write these words, here is the link.

The Ant Head


They gathered in a building.  The final place of the final test.  They came together to prove the value of Man.

The question was leadership and righteousness.  Who is worthy and why.

From the body of the elders they pick the wisest one.  They said to him, “Choose for us a prize that we may begin the contest”.  The old man, bent over and half blind, said to them, “Bring me the head of an ant”.

The youngest of the elders was the first to move.  He ran outside and grabbed the first ant he could find.  With urgent dispatch he returned with the head of an ant.

The elder told him to put it plate and set the plate the middle of the table. 

The elder sat at the head of the table.  “Now debate among yourselves who is worthy to eat this head.”

They all stood speechless for the space of a minute.  Then the first to move was the youngest.  As his fingers reached for the prize, one of the elders slapped his hand with disdain.  “What gives you the right to think you are worthy?”  The reaching and the slapping became a spark to a pool of flammable liquid. 

It started with a response.  But it soon developed into an all out brawl.  This went on for quite a while until a breeze came to the top of the table.  Not even one elder noticed the ant head drift off the plate, down to the floor, and disappear in a crack.


I have looked at Man.  I have tried to discover why righteousness eludes us.  I thought I had the answer.  But in the telling of it, it took too long.

In my life I have testified well over fourteen thousand times, trying to nail down the reason why we are full of disarray.

I have come to the conclusion of the elder who ordered the ant head.  There is no righteousness among men.  There is no peace to be found anywhere on this earth.  Man simply does not have eternal life in him.

And I have understood from all that is Christianity, Salvation belongs to our God and to the Lamb.  Except that the Living God had done his “Strange Work”, not one man would rise from the grave.

I used to stand at the edge of the city and wait to hear wisdom.  I stood along the path where men walk and waited to hear someone utter something wise and beautiful.  But I realized I will starve to death before I find a wise man walk by me.

Unless the wisdom of God comes down from heaven, man has no option but death.  And hasn’t this been done?  Christ Jesus crucified on our behalf.  Yes, the wisdom of God has come down.

In Man there is no life.  But God has sent mercy.  Let every man do as he will; seek righteousness with all your heart.  You will not find it here!

Finally, I Speak of Divorce

Often at the completion of some writing, I have thought to myself, “This one is the best”.  But I have added these beginning words after I have written all that follows. 

This writing may not be the best for all men, but it is the most sincere gathering of words I have ever gathered together in one place.  With the greatest sincerity that any man can write, I have written.

All the evil and boastful words I hear others speak in regard to their ex husband or ex wife.  You will not find those here!  Instead I will expose self-loathing. 

“Here I will expose,

For all the world to see,

The end result

Of our stupidity.”

What follows is the picture of a Christian who knows he has done wrong, and knows he has no means to make it right.  This is not the picture of hatred that I hear so many paint; of a righteous choice to inflict pain, or gain release, called “divorce”.

This is my testimony of joining with the mindset of God.  I testify that now I agree with him in all his Holy judgments concerning divorce.  For he spoke his final word in regard to this murderous actions of men, “I hate divorce”.  Now I testify, I know why.

My sins are paid for by the inexpressible strength of my Lord Jesus.  And for that, there is peace within me.  Then what are these tears this morning?

They are tears for the sake of others.  They are not tears for the sake of the lost.  They are not tears for the sake of what men do to one another.  They are tears of realization for what I have done to so many.

As the dawn breaks and the Sun comes up, old age has slipped upon me.  The righteous man smiles with his family all about him.  But my family is called regret.

I will lay in my bed and die, perhaps with the company of one or two.  But I am given to take note of one who will die without her husband.  The joy of marriage ripped from her by the selfish sins of this man.

The tender hands of care will be absent, at the excruciating moment of her completion.  The sight rips my heart in two! 

Still I urge this enemy of mine, come and shove the dagger deep.  Let the remembrance of my sins penetrate to the very marrow of my bones!  Let my selfish heart, that was once like granite, feel the pain of my senseless stupid choices.

When my heart was cold and dead I did as I pleased.  But now I have sobriety of soul, and a heart of flesh.  With this, awareness dawns like the blazing heat of a Summer Sun on a man who has not slept well.  In a vast arid desert, he wakes alone!  And but for my Holy Lord of compassion, I could not bear this eternal pain.

I write this as a testimony.  For one, that understanding has come, and with it inexpressible surprise of horror, sadness, and pain.  And another, that those who live their lives with selfish abandon, can expect a visitation from regret; that relentless monster of remembrance.

I testify that divorce is a hideous and unholy choice.  It is Murder of the vilest kind!  While it may have appeared palatable at the time, the time will come when bitterness will cleave your tongue to the roof of your mouth.  You will despise yourself like you have never despised a man before.

Expectations of joy were dashed to pieces.  Hopes and dreams of childhood find no place of welcome.  Shame and despair will take their place.  And without the mercy of God, hopelessness will be the banner of all your future days.

Does this sound like the foolish and simplistic picture the world paints of divorce?  Does this have any resemblance to the hope of satisfaction that the court of Man does promise? 

This is not an exposé of some macabre selfish ambition; that I will display my horror as if for the sake of entertainment.  No, this is to show the end of what God plainly says he abhors.

It is an apology with tears and sincerity.  It is an expression of the hope that is in Christ, even for a man such as I!  But it is a sincere warning for those who think divorce is some pleasant place to live.  The fruit at first is sweet, but it is poison indelible for your soul.

To the sweet mother of my children, who did no wrong, I am deeply sorry.  I wrote this here so that I would not dig up old pain by bringing this to your door. 

Let this be a place where a gift is given.  Let some poor wayward soul come and understand what I have written.  Let his selfish longing for divorce be stymied by this confession of pain.  Then the turmoil and trouble, between her and I, has found some fruit of hope.  As if a man stands and warns the travelers, “A lion waits at the edge of the woods ahead”.  Indeed, let someone take heed lest his children live as orphans and his wife shed tears that did not need to fall.

Amen, amen, amen!

By His Grace